Divorcing when Your Spouse is Impossible to Talk To
According to one survey, poor communication was the leading cause of divorce. Some spouses shut themselves off from their mate, while others go in the opposite direction—communicating too much drama and overt hostility. Neither spouse is easy to live with—or divorce. If your spouse didn’t communicate well during the marriage, then he or she will not improve an iota once served with divorce papers.
How do you get divorced when it feels like you are talking to a brick wall? And how do you find common ground with a spouse who is volatile and nasty? Fortunately, the experienced Media divorce attorneys at Barbara Flum Stein & Associates can help.
Communicate in Writing
The best thing you can do with a difficult spouse is to commit communications to paper, or at least email. This way there is always a record of what you said and when you said it.
As attorneys, we fully understand why the court requires proper service of legal documents on a spouse. We can ensure that we always have tangible proof that he or she received documents in a timely manner.
Control Your Emotions
Many spouses are poor at communicating precisely because they are trying to goad their partner into an emotional response. Guess what? It’s about power.
Take your power back by remaining in control of your emotions. This is another reason to communicate with paper or email—there is distance between you and your spouse, and there is safety in distance. No matter how angry you feel, never show your spouse.
How do you accomplish that? It’s not easy, but remember the following:
- Before hitting “send” on an email, put it aside for a day. Basically, sleep on it. In the morning, you can read it over and remove anything that is snarky.
- Always resist the temptation to respond back quickly. Nothing is so vital it needs to be communicated overnight. And if there is something vital, your lawyer should handle it.
- Don’t agree to meet your spouse face-to-face if you know that you will feel triggered into responding negatively.
Always try to be upbeat, even when you don’t feel that way. A positive attitude does go a long way!
Lean on Your Lawyer
It is perfectly legitimate for your lawyer to tackle communication about big issues with your spouse’s attorney. For example, you might have some ideas about what a fair custody schedule would look like. Let your lawyer review and then submit it for your spouse’s consideration. This isn’t something you need to hash out over the breakfast table, especially if your spouse is difficult to communicate with.
Also listen to your lawyer if she thinks you are letting your emotions get the best of you. Trying to “strike back” at a nasty ex is in no one’s best interest.
Contact a Delaware County Divorce Attorney Today
Our Media divorce lawyers have helped many people divorce difficult spouses, and we can help ensure the process goes as smoothly as possible. For assistance with your case, please contact one of the lawyers at Barbara Flum Stein & Associates today to schedule your initial consultation.